Andy's 365

Brian G

2010-08-08T19:58:00.001-04:00

Brian G

This is the first entry in over a week that was written on it's correct day. I'm caught up! Now I could use this opportunity to not fall behind again, but instead I know now that I have the ability to be lazy and still catch up. Learning the wrong lesson is still learning a lesson kids!

Let's stay on the Brian theme. Brian was a thug. He was in my art class in seventh grade. Now you'll all get pieces of my seventh grade teenage meltdown here and there but I doubt I could compile the entire epic into a couple posts. Regardless, I missed 80 days of school that year and was prone to terrible migraines (real or imagined, I still don't know). Therefore I was taking painkillers. The conversation that started my suspension fiasco went something like this.

Brian: How do you get rid of your headaches?

Me: I take painkillers.

Brian: You're too young to take painkillers, you liar.

Me: No, I'm not. I take painkillers for my migraines.

Brian: Oh yeah, well if you don't bring me some and show them to me, I will beat you up.

Me: Whatever.

That should have been the end of it but he continued to bother me and eventually I decided it really couldn't hurt to show the idiot a couple of Tylenol tablets. I must have wanted to get caught because one day at lunch I beckoned to him and showed him two Tylenol tablets in the middle of the cafeteria. As soon as he took them, a teacher was upon us. Sure that we were trading drugs, (like ecstacy?) we were taken to the principles office.

What happened next made it all worthwhile. Brian, the big badass broke down into baby tears and lied his face off. Let's dialogue that one too just for fun.

Principal: Did you ask him to bring this to you?

Brian: NO! I didn't even know what he was doing, he just handed them to me and I didn't know what they were, I was so scared!

Principal: Is that true, Andrew?

Me: No, he threatened me until I brought it in, it's just Tylenol.

Principal: Did you threaten him?

Brian: NO! I want my mommy! WAH WAH WAH.

That was all pretty close to what actually happened. Meanwhile, the nurse had these pills in her office trying to decipher what they were. They all actually believed they were drugs at first because there were no markings on it. It was probably some generic brand, I don't know. We both got suspended for three days which was fine with me, I probably wouldn't have gone to school anyway those days. I just didn't have to argue with my mom to stay home for those.

Ross

2010-08-08T19:55:00.001-04:00

Ross M (July 15)

Ross was a charmingly awkward kid. He was always really nice to me and when my high school youth group became a nightmare because of Eric (see first post), he was the one guy I could still hang out with because he wasn't in my old chapter, and he was one of the few who didn't seem to care that I had switched into his chapter after being booted from another.

I went to a big event as a member of Chapel, having been kicked out of Woodcrest. I saw Eric there and tried to speak to him. Literally, I just asked him if I could talk to him. He became furious and yelled at me.

"I came here to chaperone an event, NOT to be HARRASSED by you!"

I didn't try to talk to him again. I had recently learned a really neat trick. If you held your breath and huddled on the ground and then quickly stood up and had somebody press on your chest, you would pass out. I asked Ross to do it to me, we were in the bathroom. I told him to catch me if I fell. We did the thing, I passed out but my eyes didn't close. He thought I was awake and I went crashing to the floor, cracking my head on the tile.

When I came to I was in the office of the JCC with the heads of the group. My dad came and I was taken to the hospital. As I left, I saw Eric gloating at me. Ross made up some lie to get out of trouble, I never blamed him.

Dan Baum

2008-08-20T10:38:00.002-04:00

Pledgebrother #2
Dan lived in the same apartment/house with me for 2 years and was literally my partner in crime. Luckily, I was never with him for any of his arrests.

Dan had the stigma of being the fraternity pothead, although in all fairness, it was mostly because he always seemed to be stoned even when he wasn't. I was actually a much bigger offender and he took the blame for plenty of my endeavors. Even his nickname "Danks" was because he supposedly always had weed. There was a period of time when you could have attached a pull string to him like a kid's toy because only four phrases ever seemed to come out of his mouth; all in his impression of Peter Griffin...

"Oh my god!"
"You think that's bad..."
"You're breakin' my balls!"
"Wanna go to Birch?" (the buffet style cafeteria at our college)
If he wasn't eating at Birch, it was McDonalds and I honestly don't know how he survived college with his diet, but then he wasn't unique in that sense.

Once we lived in the house, he had a habit of making entire pots of pasta or mac and cheese that we would devour at 3am. There was really nothing healthy about it, it's no wonder I lost 20 pounds since I left college...well I guess there's less binge drinking too.

If I could leave you with one image of Dan, it would be the night he was taken to the hospital with alcohol poisoning. The last I saw of him he was running head first into a wall after being confused as to why I was taller than him when we were standing on a hill. We had been playing a drinking game that required gambling how much had to be drank. We sabotaged his hand so he would always have to drink but he chose how much to gamble. Half a bottle of vodka later, he was calling me Dan.

Later, in the hospital, attached to an IV, he tried to go outside to smoke a cigarette and on the phone told his mom he was in his dorm and our roommate Dawson had made everything up about the hospital. Ladies and Gentleman, Dan Baum.

Tom Butler

2008-08-15T09:39:00.004-04:00

I pledged a fraternity sophomore year! Tau Delta Phi was the backdrop for so many significant moments over the past few years of my life I could write a book about it. But I'm not going to. There are things that happened that I can't talk about, others that I don't want to.

However, I met many of my best friends there and it's time I started talking about more of them. So the next several entries will be my pledge class. Let's start with Tom.

Tom Butler is an enigma. The guy is like a superhero when it comes to being an EMT. I'd trust him with my life after a car accident. However, he's also probably the one that would have caused the accident. He's extremely responsible but completely absent minded. I've never seen somebody turn it on and off for different things quite the way Tom does.

I can say for certain that Tom is genuinely good guy. He's quick to make judgments sometimes but if he's your friend, you can count on him for pretty much anything as long as you let him know it's important. He takes care of those he cares about, friends and family and really doesn't give a shit what people think of him.

Also, one of the funniest things I've ever seen is Tom trying to get out of a wetsuit.

"Franklin"

2008-08-14T15:34:00.006-04:00

R.I.P.
The P in this case stands for something other than peace. Maybe "pathetic misery" or "phar away from me".

Ever since I got promoted to the voiceover department over three months ago, my job has been made more difficult by another new assistant who just was not able to do his job effectively. We're going to call him Franklin because there's really no reason to use his real name. If his name were really Franklin, it would ACTUALLY be Frank, but he goes by Franklin. Use your imagination, it's like that.

Franklin was obsessed with protein, sugar and energy drinks. He would down pixie sticks at 9:15am. His eyes bulged out of his head like Ben on Lost, except he wasn't nearly as smart. Franklin had a tattoo on his crotch that said "Ain't it pretty?"

The amount of times and ways that he screwed up were so many that going through them could fill a book. Sometimes with people like this, you feel a little bad for them but this kid was just awful in every way. He seemed to believe he was southern even though he was born in Michigan. Going to school in North Carolina does not make you southern yet he referred to his "lingo" as part of his "Southern gentleman charm". He was anything but charming. He used basically any phrase he overheard ad nauseum. When leaving messages, he would always ask to be given a "shout" back. He would refer to studios as being "time nazis" to clients after hearing somebody say it once. He used the word "regarding" way too often. He modulated his voice in insanely creepy ways, laughed like a hyena and showed off his new tattoo like it was a baby (not the crotch one, that one was featured on facebook though). He stated once that he got it because "hot chicks at the beach love it". Without being entirely accurate, I'm going to give my impression of his message leaving.

"Hi Steven, this is your boy Franklin with 2pm at the office for double A-R-P. You'll be reading in pairs so make sure to jet over here right on time. You can give me a shout back to confirm at extension 238." Everyone came in confused the next day trying to figure out what WRP was. Also, he is not Steven's boy. Also it irked me that he never said the word audition. Also, he didn't say which agent the audition was from...this sounds nitpicky, but it's not and it was all in a voice that screamed "I'm a serial killer!"

Franklin conducted a lot of personal business using his work e-mail. He also had them ALL saved in his deleted mail folder, not completely deleted. His employment ended this week and all of his private emails became public. In reaction upon finding out, he chose to "get back at us" by making nasty comments on facebook before blocking everyone.

I'm just glad he's gone, there is literally only one other person I can think of in my post grade school life that I have disliked as much as him. In the past few days, work has changed so much. I've taken on a lot more responsibility, everybody is more relaxed and my desk has shifted giving me a ridiculous amount of space. All is well.

Mr. Harrison

2008-08-11T09:44:00.002-04:00

My 11th grade chemistry teacher...the only chemistry teacher I ever had. In fact, this was my last legitimate science class ever. I wouldn't really count Environmental Studies sophomore year of college, especially since I accidentally slept through the first half of nearly every class...but that's a different story.

This guy was crazy. He frequently explained things to us by describing how he had explained it to his wife, Mable. It would be something like..."Mable, I think disposable lunch bags are ridiculous when you can have a reusable one!" He handed out wallet sized Periodic tables explaining to the boys that it would help us get dates. He also thought I woke up each and every morning just to go out and be a waste of potential.

In the beginning of the year, I wasn't QUITE failing. I scored 80%, exactly, without fail on every test and quiz for the few months of school. Each time when he returned the tests he'd place it on my desk and look at me. He'd shake his head and say, "So much potential." I was more interested in the girl next to me, Danielle. As far as I'm concerned it was a more worthwhile thing to pay attention to. She was my junior prom date and we're still friends to this day...what has chemistry done for me? Danielle and I bonded by sitting in the back making fun of the teacher every day but she still did considerably better than me in the class.

I'm pretty sure I only passed the class because of binder checks. These were worth 200 points and consisted of him yelling out a random piece of paper and us finding it in 60 seconds. If you weren't organized, this was deadly. I was not organized but lucked out a couple of times. I got a solid D in this class, the closest I ever came to failing.

Curtis

2008-08-06T09:11:00.003-04:00

This kid was mean. Like super mean. He was the reason I thought Nick was a bully, and he dated one of my distant cousins to make things worse.

I was friends with this nerdy Asian kid named Nathan and one time Curtis walked up to him in middle school and stabbed him in the arm with a pencil for absolutely no reason. He was in my homeroom in 8th grade and I was feeding the fish and he came up behind me and shoved my entire arm into the tank while I was wearing a sweater.

He's one of those perfect examples of people that made me believe I was smarter than the general populace, even if it's not true. I wanted to check up on him so I looked at his facebook page. He is still dating my cousin and he claims in his info that he likes "weird shit like anything thats blue". Man, that is weird.
Religious views: CHILLIN
Activities: GET MONEY
Political views: DEMOPUBLICAN

Some things really don't ever change.

Joe

2008-07-31T15:15:00.002-04:00

Joe was my boss when I worked at a cell phone retail store in high school. He was a client of my dads. He was an ex Israeli soldier and would sometimes talk to me about it.

"Andy, do you know how to kill somebody with this exactoknife? In the army I would hide behind sandbags and when the Arabs would come over I would go up under the rib cage like this and kill them. Easy. Now break down those boxes."

This store was so empty all the time, I worked for weeks and still didn't learn the things I should have learned simply from lack of practice. I made commission off of everything so I did try hard to sell stuff though.

Even so, he questioned a lot of the sales and sometimes made "adjustments". I did as much as I could but the store just wasn't doing well and I steadily got less shifts until it just ended. It wouldn't be the last job in which I struggled to find stuff to do.

Monique Giunta

2008-07-29T15:26:00.002-04:00

Monique was one of my roommates in Astoria, which I just left after a four month stay. I think I hung out with her on a total of 10 occasions while I was there. She came to my fraternity formal with me and that was the most time I ever spent with her. We always had a lot of fun together, and I trusted her even though we only knew each other a short time. It's a shame because I think she's an awesome person and I wish I had been able to spend more time with her. Hopefully I will in the future.

Monique was a good roommate, she kept clean, pitched in for household supplies, brought me food...I love that. She wasn't around but she was easy going and never complained about anything.

Monique was a perfect example of how in this city, nothing is a sure thing, not even that you'll see the people you live with a couple times a week. Everybody is constantly on the go, having a million different things to do and changing plans all the time. Even in the city, it's like some people are a million miles away.

Blog reflection

2008-07-28T14:37:00.004-04:00

So obviously it's been a little difficult to get to this EVERY day. I want to explain certain thoughts I've been having about this blog.

1. There are some people you just don't want to write about. Certain things are too private for this forum, or else you just don't feel you can capture the right emotions in a short blog. I know that's why I hesitated to write about Grace this whole time. While the product is "nice" it doesn't really get to the core of our friendship.

2. Are there actually 365 people to write about? I'm not sure. I mean I easily have 50-100 people I'd love to say something about, but sometimes I really feel like I'm stretching. Certain people you want to save for a while. If I write about all my close friends and family first, who am I going to be writing about in six months?

3. This has allowed me to tell some really big stories, but I feel like I'm just doing filler a lot of the time, nothing can compare to some of the more epic things I've written.

So what do I do? Well, first of all, sometimes I'm not going to backdate. Right now I'm five days behind and instead of stressing about it, I'm gonna just drop them, maybe the blog will run more than a year. Writing 5 quick entries in one day is probably more confusing to people actually reading the blog. I'm told there's actually a few of them. Also, this is the first time I've written in a while and it's inspired me to do some different things.

I'm considering changing this blog to a slightly different format where I can write about anything I want that is significant to me. We'll see. For now, thanks for reading.

Michelle Vargas (July 22)

2008-07-25T10:32:00.004-04:00

My other new roommate and also an alumni of our sketch comedy and improv shows. Nicknamed Smush, Michelle and I weren't always the closest of friends but in the past couple years we have grown close. I frequently find with Michelle there are a lot of similarities in the way we think about things and deal with our emotions.

I don't want to write all sappy right now so here's five things about Smush.

1. She is a truly stellar editor.

2. A really fun and adaptable person who seems to be able to hold her own no matter where she ends up.

3. One of the best singers I have ever met.

4. Always looking to pass on things that are meaningful to her to those she cares about.

5. Has no shame when it comes to performing (almost).

It has been awesome to go through this post college transition with Smush and I can't wait to start working with her again. TOMORROW!

Grace Ann Helbig (July 21)

2008-07-23T19:27:00.003-04:00

Grace is the type of girl who people fall in love with almost immediately upon meeting. I met Grace during my sophomore year of college and she almost instantly became my best friend.

As soon as we started talking, Grace wanted to do a show for the almost nonexistant TV station at our school. From then on, she became a catalyst for nearly every good decision I made in my life. We both changed our majors to contracts and chose our own classes for the remainder of college.

With a few friends, we pioneered the beginning of the revival of the college TV channel. We created the college's first ever longform inprov show without any faculty support and packed the house every night.

Grace helped me through a tough period after college, she was my inspiration behind making the right moves to get a job and an apartment in NY. She introduced me to the PIT where I've grown as a performer and currently do tech work.

I honestly think my life might be drastically different right now if not for Grace. Her drive has inspired me over and over again to push my limits and take risks and they always pay off. Sometimes we joke and tell people we're siblings but I really do feel that way about her. Grace has been like a twin sister to me for a long time and soon we'll be living together in Brooklyn. I can only imagine what comes next.

Carla Colucci (July 20)

2008-07-22T12:53:00.002-04:00

Carla is the office manager here at CESD.

She is the reason I have a job. Carla went to Ramapo and graduated the year I greduated high school. Now she has a habit of hiring Ramapo grads. She was amazing to work under and is the go to person for almost any office problem, whether it's related to office supplies or things of a more personal nature. Carla is one of the most trustworthy people I know and I never hesitate to talk to her about anything.

I just wanted to mention her because I feel like I would never have gotten a job like this without her and been stuck in NJ forever. Probably not true but it feels that way.

Carla is also my hero. But for real.

Elissa (July 19)

2008-07-22T09:53:00.004-04:00

Elissa is an assistant at CESD with me.

Yesterday, (which was the 21st, but I'm backdating), I was walking to my office and my arm bumped into this tall guys arm. He dropped his newspaper and glasses that he was holding. It wasn't my fault, we just bumped each other. I handed him his glasses and continued walking but he called after me. He showed me that his glasses had a crack in the lens and started to rudely insist that I pay for half of it. I was unsure what to do but suddenly Elissa came up and asked if there was a problem. Let's do this in almost authentic dialogue.

Guy: Who's this? You're bodyguard?

Elissa: No, I'm his coworker, is there a problem?

Guy: My glasses are cracked.

Me: Look people bump into each other, I'm sorry about your glasses but I can't pay for them.

Elissa: Let's go.

Guy: Oh, hide behind your bodyguard, yeah walk away you bitch. That's right little girl I called you a bitch!

I find it hard to believe this guy actually though that would elicit sympathy, but whatever.
YAYYYY MONDAYS! Elissa is my hero.

Kelly Dolak (July 18)

2008-07-21T15:58:00.002-04:00

Kelly was my college advisor. For as long as I knew her she was working on a documentary about Afghanistan. She was always the first to support a creative idea or anything outside of the box. She was responsible for helping Grace and I create our sketch comedy show, Baked Goods.

We took an idea development class with Kelly to form our idea. After that, we wanted to go into full production. Kelly actually transformed her class "TV for New Media" into a production class for our show. We added the rest of our cast to the class; Brian, Rich and Michelle. Anybody else that signed up basically became part of our production team. While Grace and I wrote most of the early sketches, the cast members all eventually joined the creative process. We even ended up doing most of the editing. Despite other class members sometimes complaining about us doing all of the work, Kelly seemed content to let us pretty much do whatever we wanted.

While the final products were sometimes less than desirable, we learned a ton about production, writing, editing and working with others, especially under awful time constraints.

Kelly also allowed for me to do my ridiculously unorthodox internship, chronicled here weeks ago. She never gave me a hard time about not following all the rules and was content with everything I talked to her about. I always felt like I could be completely honest with Kelly and she never steered me wrong.

Kelly was really just another crazy creative type who actually completely understood me. For all of her absentmindedness and quirkiness, she was one of the most influential people in my college years simply because she let me do things my way.

Nick Houghkirk (July 17)

2008-07-21T09:17:00.002-04:00

I knew Nick ever since about 6th grade and was never friends with him. In fact, I'd always thought he was a bully. He never did anything to me but I guess since he hung out with somebody who was an actual bully, I just assumed he was as well. After high school, Nick and I began to hang out and I realized that he was actually a really great guy. Nick has been a loyal friend and is somebody I fully misjudged throughout years of school.

Nick is also an extremely hard worker and one of the healthiest people I know. We don't always agree on everything, he has extreme opinions on a lot of things, especially those regarding people and the things they do being right or wrong. However, these opinions also translate into practice. If Nick does something, he does it all the way. Though I may work on my goals quite as rigorously, I have taken inspiration from him time and again when making changes in my life.

Iyabode (July 16)

2008-07-17T15:11:00.003-04:00

Her name is pronounced Ee-ya-bo-day, but she goes by Yabby. Yabby does not believe anything. She was in Acting for TV and Film class with Grace and I.

Our professor would bring in scripts of random movie scenes. In one scene, a man was arguing with a woman about what to do with a baby. I don't remember the exact circumstances, either she couldn't afford the baby or didn't want it or something. Regardless the guy in the scene had a stron opinion on the matter.

During the comment portion of the class, Yabby raised her hand.

Yabby: "I have a question, why does that guy get to say anything about what happens? It's not his kid!"

Prof. Topol: "Well that's just the scene, we're talking about what we thought of the scene."

Yabby: "I thought the scene was bad! That guy does not have a say what happen's to the baby! It's not yo' baby!"

Well Grace and I loved this line and "It's not yo' baby" became our tagline for pretty much anything we wrote together, especially our sketch comedy show a year later.

During the winter semester that year, I went to London for intercession. On our first day, the head of security at the college we were staying at was explaining how to be safe and gave us some information for our benefit. He explained a couple of things that had happened when people had not followed the safety guidelines. He told us how somebody had tried to climb into the park after dark and impaled his arm on the fence. Upon hearing this, Yabby spoke up.

"Uh-uh, I do not feel safe! Did you hear that? Some guy got his arm caught on a fence and it cut right through him, that is not safe at all! How can you feel safe, what kind of security is this?"

Another day, we were visiting one of the Queen's castles. They have British soldiers posted who are not allowed to move at all. Yabby approached one of the guards and while standing right in front of him she looked around and started yelling.

"That is not a real soldier, that guy is too young. He's just an actor!"

I went and asked a tour guide, not feeling good about what was happening. The tour guide replied to me and the group around us that the man was indeed a soldier who had just returned from a tour in Iraq. Yabby still didn't seem to believe it but I think I detected the slightest of smirks on the soldier's face for having her proven wrong.

Michelle Lugerner (July 14)

2008-07-15T15:03:00.002-04:00

Despite having a different male roommate each year of college, Michelle is the person I "lived" with the longest. She lived in the same apartment as the girl I was dating junior year and by the time that was over, she was dating my fraternity brother Gilligan who became my roommate in the house the following year.

Michelle was the best roommate I had. She wasn't messy. She showered regularly. She made Gilligan shower. She fed me occasionally. She was there for me when my relationship fell apart along with another one the following year. On the list of people I miss most after leaving New Jersey, Michelle is near the top of it.

Rachel Citron (July 13)

2008-07-14T14:24:00.000-04:00

Rachel is my cousin, there is no blood between us but we have a family connection. Until I moved to NY, my interaction with Rachel was limited to a handful of family events over the years, but we always had a good time. When I moved to the city, Rachel introduced me to all of her friends and I never felt like the new guy. Everybody was amazing and over the past several months these people have become my closest friends.

Rachel throws amazing parties. She picks a theme such as the Wild West, The 90's or Alice in Wonderland and gets food and drinks to match. There is no shortage of the cool people Rachel brings together. Because of her, I never felt alone in this city. She made the transition more than easy, she made it exciting. I have never felt alone in a city where I knew very few people at the outset.

Rachel is family, but she helped me gain a whole new one when I came out here.

Sue E (July 12)

2008-07-14T14:20:00.007-04:00

Sue was my bus driver in sixth grade. She was certifiable. Along with speeding and not minding knocking over stops signs, she actually egged on kids who made fun of other kids. Her son George was on the bus and she seemed to enjoy it when he picked on other kids.

Sue wasn't mean in her own right, but she seemed to be of the belief that kids should be mean to each other in order to be toughened up. The woman was crazy. She was not our bus driver in seventh grade.

Pat Chang (July 11)

2008-07-14T14:20:00.001-04:00

Freshman year of college, we all had to pick a first year seminar. I fought my way into NYTC, Not Your Typical Class, and in case you hadn't guessed from the acronym, it was New York-centric. On Saturdays, we would take trips into the city and get guided tours around different sections, go to different restaurants, see shows and go to museums etc.

Pat and his wife Ann designed this class to familiarize students with NY and it was awesome. Along with exclusive tours from some very cool people, we also ate for free at different restaurants each week including Soul Food, Ethiopian, Vegetarian, Sushi and Indian among other things. We saw Avenue Q, walked around Inwood, explored the village where I got my ear pierced and took a tour of Webster Hall.

It really was an experience like no other and sealed my love of this city.

Andy Gleaner (July 10)

2008-07-12T17:34:00.002-04:00

Yes that's me, and I haven't run out of other people to talk about. I just have some things I want to say and they're about me, so here it is.

I've had to deal with a lot of stress and disappointment in the past couple weeks. It's not any one thing, but a combination of things from all aspects of my life going to shit all at once. I wasn't myself for a little while, but only a brief period of time. Now that I'm on the other side I came to a couple conclusions.

I am not the same person I was a year ago, or even six months ago. The things that have been thrown at me recently would have been enough in the past to seriously mess with my state of mind for a long time. As things are now, I took a few days, I absorbed the situations, I worked out my feelings and now I feel better than ever.

The truth is, my life is really great. I have a job that sustains me, even if it isn't perfect. I live in the city I've always wanted to live in. I am friends with the greatest people on the planet. They are all around me and no matter what goes wrong or what disappointment I face, these are people who will always be there, and knowing that makes all the difference.

So I want to mention Brian and Grace; two friends who have seen me at my lowest and highest, my best and my worst. Two people that have been my friends for years and are always there. The ones who know me better than I know myself sometimes. You guys are my best friends and I thank you so much for always knowing how to give me some perspective, and then getting drunk with me.

Even more important though is that I know myself, and now that I've come this far, there is nothing that is going to stop me or bring me down. I've become the person I want to be and I will never go back to the place I was in last year. Things aren't perfect, but they are great and I look forward to the future because it only gets better from here.

Marco (July 9)

2008-07-11T12:18:00.003-04:00

Winter of my junior year I went to London for two weeks for an intercession study abroad. A large portion of those of us going banded together to be branded as the party kids as opposed to the endlessly studying kids and the kids who were somewhere in between. Marco was arguably one of the craziest in the bunch though I was the most infamous for missing class and being horrendously hungover.

Marco, however, constantly wanted to play pranks on people. This usually came in the form of smacking people in the face with a fistful of baby powder, or dumping a bag of quarters on top of them while they were sleeping. But he made a special exception for me. One day when I was in the shower he stole all of my clothes and my towel and dropped them in front of my dormroom door, fully intending on forcing me to come out into the hallway stark naked. After panicking for a minute I took down the shower curtain and went to retrieve my things. He hadn't realized I could do this so I avoided the naked pictures and half a dozen people waiting to see me come out as such.

I replaced his shampoo with maple syrup and some other stuff. I never found out if it worked.

Chris G (July 8)

2008-07-09T16:24:00.005-04:00

This is the only real fight I ever got into.

You might have guessed, if you ever met me or read this blog, that I was picked on in grade school. Well on the bus in 6th grade, there was one kid who got picked on more than me. His nickname was Turtle because of the massively oversized green backpack he always wore. His shirts were always tucked into to shorts that were too small on him. He was a small tan skinned kid who looked like he was already going bald.

Without divulging too much, his family life was less than pleasant, and apparently as a side effect, the kid claimed he couldn't feel pain. He was also aggressive and rude to people as opposed to me who really was just picked on for being nerdy. Chris was trying to compensate for something by bragging about things that nobody cared about and making ridiculous claims about his supposed accomplishments.

Somehow, we were forced at odds with one another and one day it turned to a fist fight. Being bigger, I easily got the upper hand. I repeatedly smashed his head against the floor of the bus which made him laugh, that made me angry. His tiny fists didn't really hurt me either, but I have to imagine that my head being hit on a hard floor over and over would have hurt. Eventually he reached up and ripped my shirt, which really upset me.

I honestly can't remember what happened in the vice principals office, but it was just one of many times Mr. Ronkin would be seeing me over the next couple years.

Matt Fried (July 7)

2008-07-09T16:17:00.003-04:00

Matt is one of a few friends that I have that completely disappeared from my life for a LONG time only to come back and be better than friends than they were in the first place. We did community theater together during high school and then went away to college, never to see one another again.

One day at the PIT, not only do I see Matt on stage, he then goes and talks to Grace, who is like a sister to me. It's a small world.

Since then, I've worked with Matt doing improv and he's connected with some of my other friends in the city. The funny thing is, I feel like he is so similar to me in so many ways and he's one of the people I call for any reason; when I really need to get something off my chest, when there's a party to go to or something to collaborate on. Without a big dose of coincidence, I wouldn't be friends with Matt now.

Everything happens for a reason.

Jimmy the Janitor (July 6)

2008-07-07T16:50:00.003-04:00

There was something about Jimmy that made me feel like I was the coolest kid around. He was a big jolly black janitor in my elementary school and I'll be damned if he wasn't one of the happiest people I ever met, though I'm fully aware at my current age that he probably had problems like everyone else.

Jimmy was always smiling, and saying "Hey Buddy, how's it going today?" or "You da man!". You know, whatever it is that makes 8 year olds feel cool. Jimmy may have just been a janitor but he left an impression on me, and when he became the janitor at my middle school I was all too pleased that he was still around.

Dr. Letterman (July 5)

2008-07-07T15:38:00.002-04:00

Dr. Letterman was the worst!
He was the first psychologist I was brought to when I started refusing to go to school in seventh grade. Even as a petulant 12 year old I knew this guy was a moron. Every single thing I mentioned seemed to be the root of my problems according to him.

Dr. Idiot: What did you have for breakfast?

Andy: Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Dr. Idiot: How does that make you feel?

Andy: Full.

Dr. Idiot: Do you think you eat sugar because you're upset about your father leaving?

At this point if I'd had a lighter on me I would have been setting his twelve trillion certificates aflame. Then we'd really have some things to discuss. Well he was convinced that my addiction to video games was a yearning to escape reality because of my inability to deal with the real world and while that almost makes sense, it would have been better if he didn't think that my habit of breathing was brought on by misplaced anger as well.

Since I clearly hated him, he showed me pictures of Stanford which I enjoyed and I decided I wanted to go there briefly. This made me like him for four minutes until he started explaining that if I kept up my behavior, I would never go to Stanford. Even at my worst, I was able to be reasonable enough with my mother to get her to agree that this guy was never going to help. We found some new doctors after that.

Dr. Merkowski (July 4)

2008-07-06T13:47:00.003-04:00

My dentist is the guy who will talk the entire time he has a bunch of tools in your mouth. This would be fine except that he tends to ask questions. He also sometimes tells the same stories about things currently going on which is very strange for somebody you only see twice a year. Since he has kids close to my age I hear the stories about them going to college, where they are going, what they are studying etc. and though I don't remember the details from the previous time, I remember hearing them before.

He also makes the same speech about his procedure every time, word for word, as if I don't know what to expect after 20 years of dental exams.

He asks me about sports, my opinion on the war, how college was going (it's been a while since I've been), how my grandparents are doing, etc. etc.

My answers are usually something like this "Grah, uh uh...erm."

I guess if you want to be a talker, it's easy if you get a job where your clients can't speak for most of the time you're with them.

Dave Powers

2008-07-03T10:40:00.002-04:00

Dave was in my level 1 and 2 improv classes at the PIT. At the beginning of each class we went around and talked about what brought us to improv. Dave told the most touching story about he had started doing it for a friend who had died. The passion that he showed in those moments truly inspired me.

Dave is one of the strangest and most interesting people I've met in this city. He is hardworking and independent and a great friend who calls just because he genuinely cares to know "What's up?".

Every time he posts on a a facebook wall he leaves a lolcats picture. He makes references he knows I won't understand, sometimes because they are just out of his head. He's a joy to work with on stage and although there is very little similar about our lifestyles, he inspires me to follow my heart because he has gone through some incredible hardships and continues to smile and pursue his dreams.

Dave, I know you read this, here's to you buddy.

Debra B (July 2)

2008-07-02T15:45:00.004-04:00

Debra was my 2nd "girlfriend" as near as I can remember. I use the quotes because I wouldn't want it to detract from when I eventually talk about an actual relationship. In third and fourth grade, we were pretty much inseparable in school. Our third grade field trip to a farm was probably my favorite memory from that time because we got to eat lunch outside together and hold hands and do things that third graders do when they like each other.

The summer before 5th grade I went over to Debra's house. We were out jumping on her trampoline when she said something to me that I will remember for as long as I live.

"I would kiss you right now, but I have this cold sore on my mouth and I don't want you to get it."
While I am eternally grateful for the sentiment, it's still gross, and so my first kiss would have to wait for a couple more years.

A couple weeks later, I returned home from camp and my grandmother told me a girl had called but she couldn't remember the message. I went to call Debra back and the phone had been disconnected. When I tried again the following day another family was living there. I never saw or heard from Debra again, but I know that she's married now so I think the breakup goes without saying.

Jeff Price

2008-07-01T13:48:00.005-04:00

Jeff is the type of guy I would have hated in High School. He came off as a popular, arrogant, cocky jock. All things he himself admitted openly to being, except the jock part when he stopped playing soccer after freshman year. Fortunately I met him sophomore year when I was ready to expand my social horizons. He had the tendency to be downright scary while I was pledging but I never resented him for it, he was simply good at yelling. However, from the first time I met him, I felt like we would always be good friends and it turned out to be true.

Jeff's arrogance more or less just turned out to be an abundance of confidence which rubbed off on me so that I soon began to look at the whole world differently. He believed that I could have whatever I wanted if I asked for it the right way. Our friendship goes both ways though and there were times when he came to me on how to deal with other kinds of situations.

Jeff was one of the key people that helped me grow into who I am now, instilling in me the confidence to not sit back and let opportunities pass me by. I hope I had a similar effect on him.

From Jeff I learned that friends come in all forms and sometimes the best ones are the ones you'd never expect.

Ferdinand

2008-06-30T10:36:00.003-04:00

Ferdinand is the guy that waters the plants in our office. He comes in once a week. Most people call him the Wizard because of his dirty gray hair and grizzled features. He smells funny. Also, one day he magically showed up in place of the old plant lady (thank you zach for the info). Carla thinks his name is Fernando. He reminds me of the old man in "Into the Woods" and I imagine he lives in a cabin somewhere in a forest near the city if indeed he lives indoors at all.

He gave me a plant when we replaced some in the office. I had just gotten my new apartment and thought it would be nice to have something living in it aside from the three of us and the occasional waterbug. We named the plant Harry. It died slowly and painfully and is still sitting in a box on the balcony. I was supposed to dispose of it this morning as per Michelle's request but I forgot.

One day in Union Square during lunch I was walking through the market with some girls from work and we picked out some little cactus type plants for our desks. It's middle name is Ferdinand after our plant man.

Lou (June 29)

2008-06-30T10:28:00.005-04:00

Lou was my professor for a couple of classes freshman year of college. He was eccentric as hell, a former manager for celebrities such as Steve Buscemi and Angela Basset. his business fell apart in LA and he moved to NJ and adopted some kids. He took a liking to me and constantly bombarded me with advice. It was that loud, over the top, flamboyant type of advice. Like he knew if I listened to him, everything would go my way.

"ANDY! You need to be a lawyer, like your father."

"ANDY! Only act if you can't do ANYTHING else."

"ANDY! There is no final and the whole class knew it except for you, that was a nice presentation though. Sit down, you got an A." (this happened)

Lou introduced me to a casting director during one acts one night and it was the first time I really thought about wanting to be on that side of the business. It's ironic that I never really thought much about it again the following years and ended up at a talent agency anyway.

Sometimes you don't decide what path to take, you just find yourself walking it.

(Side note: two days after writing this I realized the casting director I had met was somebody my office currently works with. Small world, huh?)

KC Craig (June 28)

2008-06-29T16:47:00.002-04:00

KC went to my summer camp. When we were 14ish we were in the "travel" camp for the summer which mostly consisted of day trips around South Jersey. One of them was tubing/rafting trip down the Delaware River. At some point during the day, I ended up in the raft with KC and her other "badass" girlfriends. Floating down the river she gave me my first cigarette ever. I assume I somehow thought it was going to be impressive to KC. I coughed my brains out and have never once claimed to like cigarettes since then even though I've smoked my share of them now.

It was several years before I smoked another and I have to say it's nice to be (mostly) rid of them now.

Brian K (June 26)

2008-06-27T10:00:00.004-04:00

Brian moved to Voorhees in 5th grade. We hung out all the time for the next couple years. He was the first person to introduce me to Star Wars. When I saw it, I could not believe that my "whole life" had gone by without seeing these movies. Though I was reading an X-Men comic each month at the time, Star Wars was the first time I became fully immersed in a fictional world. It is where I first found something with a deep endless mythology, an entire new universe to explore.

I bought action figures, played video games, watched the movies over and over and collected the card game. Star Wars became my obsession as a ten year old. I was so into it that my Bar Mitzvah was Star Wars themed.

I've always been drawn to expansive mythologies since then. From the Marvel Universe, to Role Playing video games, to Lost; anything with it's own set of rules and tons to learn will draw me in. It is my hope to one day be a part of creating something of that nature.

David K. (The other writer) (June 25)

2008-06-26T11:07:00.003-04:00

David runs a business involving sports down in Florida, he has a family. I've never met him in person.

The four of us had a conference call while I was on a train back to Jersey from the city. I was expecting David to be an incoherent moron based on the script I had read but in reality, his ideas about writing actually sounded similar to mine when he cited the need for story structure and knowing where you're going and having character development. Anybody who's ever taken a writing class knows these things but it was refreshing to have somebody speaking my language. We actually ended up talking about Lost for quite a bit.

It's too bad Dick was so set in his ideas, we might have been able to salvage the show. He had decided that our 4th-6th episodes would deal with the cast at another party playing a truth or dare-esque card game. This was a VERY SIMPLE game that Dick created and hoped to sell on the website. You can maybe see now that he was so much thinking about "plot". It was even more frustrating that he kept comparing our show to Quarterlife which had just been picked up by NBC due to the strike. I'm still trying to figure out if he actually believed it was good or if there was some other motivation behind the whole thing and he just wanted to fool us into thinking this was good.

Well the discussion came and went. David and I spoke privately and admitted that neither of us wanted our names on this project anymore and would gladly let the other write whatever they wanted. He wrote the third part. I ridiculous scene between three cops and having none of the main cast except the one who had been undercover hanging out with them...there was a subplot (i mean 9 second clip) of him being jerked off by one of the gay characters. Dick thought this made the show edgy. It makes me angry just thinking about it.

Communication broke down after that, but I did meet with them one last time on December 13th. I went into the city and Danilo took me and Dick out for dinner and drinks. He told me that he had gotten a business loan and the three of us would be on salary in the next couple months and work on producing several projects we had been talking about. I was pretty excited, if the money was good I didn't much care what I was doing.

The next day I got a call from CESD, where I had interviewed the previous week. I had a job. A real job. I never looked back. Revelation 125 has made no progress since, however I am friendly with several of the actors some of who work with my agency and others who I see time and again through my work at the PIT.

If you want to see Revelation 125, I can get you a link.

Dick (June 24)

2008-06-25T12:26:00.003-04:00

I had met Dick a couple of times while I was David's "intern". I give it quotes because the school had a very different idea of what I was doing and how often I was there. I didn't really deserve the credit I got but whatever. I met Danilo and Dick at Dick's office and they began to tell me about some projects they were working on. They run a streaming video website which primarily offers "urban" content and does ok as far as bringing in traffic. They both had previous careers and many connections. They both seemed much more on point than David. They wanted to make a webshow and they wanted me to write it. They also cast me as Allan, a socially inept egotistical blogger.

Now it was September and I had nothing else going on, so I decided to go with it. There was another writer in Florida. He had written a script. Now the original concept was about people meeting on a video social networking site. The script had about 10 people at a party, mostly all meeting for the first time. None of them had personalities even though we had been given character descriptions. The dialogue was nothing short of horrible. I sat down and rewrote the entire thing in three hours. Dick and Danilo LOVED it. They set up a shoot date and I was actually excited.

Danilo's house was in Jamaica, Queens. It took forever to get there. The cast was nice, all very young New York actors and it was my first exposure to a group like this so I enjoyed meeting them. At the house we went in and Dick ordered us pizza and gave us all beer. Danilo was not there which was not good as he was the director and camera operator. I asked him for a shot list but one did not exist. The actors started to get uncomfortable. It was a friday night and we were already an hour behind schedule. The house had small entryways and poor lighting, the angles were nearly impossible to hit. Dick and I used two camcorders to shoot it. Danilo arrived with a camera man and continued where we had left off. People were drinking. Actors were getting restless, the whole thing was a nightmare. The last train back to NJ was gone and I was unsure how I would get home. At least it was shot and we had signed contracts stating we would get paid if the thing made any money. I had also started my characters blog.

A couple weeks later the video was posted. The lighting was poor, the framing was bad, there were odd random cuts. My girlfriend at the time was watching it with me and just said she was sorry. It was appalling. Somehow though, it got something like half a million hits and Dick proclaimed it a victory. I tried to discuss it with Danilo but he just said he had only been able to edit what he had and I dropped it there.

I half heartedly wrote a script for the second episode which was to be much shorter in length. I wrote a really great scene between my character and his sister, and set up plot threads that would advance the show and the character arcs. I was told to cut a lot of things out and what was left had absolutely no soul. It was a standard murder mystery about characters nobody could possibly care about. It was done in the wrong format, and Dick refused to listen to me about how the story needed to be told. Suddenly "Revelation" was "I'm not Black" all over again. I would link you all to it, but I don't want the hits being traced back to my blog. If you must see the horror please ask me.

Soon I was asked to have a conference with the other writer. His name, of course, was David.

PART 5 will be posted later, I promise it will end this saga once and for all.

Danilo (June 23)

2008-06-24T17:16:00.004-04:00

THE CONCLUSION...sort of

Now I should mention that I had met and really did like Danilo. He was just unavailable during my tenure at David's apartment/studio. I did however have many phone conversations with him. David had tried to pitch a TV show before. The execs hearing the pitch apparently needed to send him away six times to create the correct kind of preview video, one that wasn't an hour long. He told me to keep my scripts and we would shoot both David's strange, constantly changing, directionless concept video AND a legit pilot for the show's original concept. MIND YOU, this involved scenes in clubs with crowds and live musical performances, flashbacks to Danilo's time choreographing artists like Boyz II Men, and all sorts of other things we didn't have.

At least he understood what it meant to be a writer and wanting to have a coherent structure, plot or at least purpose behind writing something. Nothing David said made any sense. I was going to Jersey City less and less often at this point. Kelly Dolak, my professor and advisor let me get an A- for writing a four page paper about my experience. David always told me he would help me get a job or give me one himself sometime soon as he expanded his company. He would be starting little groups to help produce these musical compilations. There was also a cartoon in the works; the script for which was a barely intelligible comic book advertisement with an excessive amount of generic characters with poor grammar. Also the dog was in it.

I called David when I moved back to North Jersey after the summer and he told me he had just done a round of hiring and I had missed it. He was also disappointed in me for not completing my assignment. I called Danilo instead; he enthusiastically told me he had a lot going on and I was just the person he needed. So began my second adventure with this group of individuals. This time I would be working with Danilo and Dick, David's webmaster and owner of a small modeling studio near Penn Station.

Kayo (June 22)

2008-06-24T10:16:00.003-04:00

PART 2 OF MY INTERNSHIP EPIC! WOW!

Kayo had recently signed with David. He was a couple years younger than me and made his music in his dorm room at school. He seemed relatively intelligent compared to what I expected but I noticed some very odd things about him. For one, he was selling massive amounts of pot and claiming to David that he was broke. He would tell David his travel costs were excessive and David would then give him money for gas and food etc. I couldn't believe I was the only one, as an intern, who could see what was really going on here but I let it go.

David decided that me and Kayo needed to sit down and discuss our script ideas. Kayo was less than thrilled. It seems everyone who found themselves around David ended up working on his pet projects which they didn't much like.

Sitting in a cafe with Kayo, David walks in very excited. Two young black guys are with him. He tells us that these two guys were talking and he overheard them calling each other the N word. David of course, actually used the word. He said that Kayo and I should pick their brains to figure out why it was ok for them to use the N word on each other, yet it was racist otherwise. This would be a great idea for our FIRST EPISODE! Then he left us. The four of us stared uncomfortably at each other for about 30 seconds. The guys said they were going to go get a drink and left. Kayo and I actually mapped out a few story ideas. If we had been writing a purely fictional show loosely based on real people, we might actually have been able to film some relatively entertaining things. This would never happen.

A couple weeks later, Kayo and I had to shoot a video with a child that lived in David's building. The kid had been picked on at school and David decided that he would "produce a video for a real rap star" to make the kids at school think he was cool. Kayo was worried about ruining his credibility if the final product made it to YouTube. I just thought the whole thing was ridiculous. What if a kid googled Kayo and found out he was nobody? What if the video just came out bad? Since when do nine year olds produce videos? WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN ON!?

Naturally, David said, as he usually did, that this would be perfect for the, yes, FIRST EPISODE. The one about Danilo. The one entitled "I'm Not Black". It was supposed to deal with how a dark skinned person dealt with "black" stereotypes when he was not in fact black. David thought this was groundbreaking tagging it the first ever "serial com-docu-drama." he even made a webpage with my name on it along with "Auggie Doggie" and "Biddy Q" (the doorman).

Well I couldn't wrap my head around everything happening in the first episode. I tried to explain continuity in television to David. He told me that my professors in college didn't know anything and that I should be thinking about TV shows like Gilligan's Island and Seinfeld. Gilligan's Island was on 40 years ago! How can you ask me to model something off of that?? Even so you can't wedge 12 different events into one episode anyway! Oh clearly my professors were the morons.

It all became clear when he also FINALLY explained to me what a pilot was, because I didn't know. See, this pilot I was writing was supposed to be a 45 minute montage of charitable events that David, Danilo, Kayo and a slew of other random people were involved in. We would show it to the execs at ABC and get picked up. EVEN COOLER, each episode would be capped with a NEW music video from Kayo, produced by Danilo! Oh, and I should have something ready to go in about a month before my internship ended...

TO BE CONTINUED!

David M. (June 21)

2008-06-23T13:15:00.004-04:00

THIS IS GONNA BE A MULTI-PART ENTRY YAYYYYYY!!!

David is something of a music producer. He has a studio in Jersey City and records mostly young talent for things like anti-drug and violence CD's. He won a Grammy for his production of some MTV compilation a while back.

He hired me as an intern my last semester of college. Originally, I thought I would be doing video editing for him. For several weeks I went through loads of tapes of amateur video. It was basically David and a couple other people filming teenagers in dated clothing singing corny songs that David had written himself. The album/DVD was entitled skatedance and a lot of the footage was them at skating rinks filming children dancing to the title track. Apparently these kids were almost minor celebrities but it appeared to have been shot about five years ago. Some of the tapes were old enough to not work anymore. I picked out the pertinent footage and saved it all on a hard drive. The internship consisted of me sitting in his studio myself and doing this all day. Sometimes I would walk the dog for him. He paid for my lunches and my transportation and while things were strange, it was pretty cool because I thought I was going to be editing these videos soon and it would be great practice.

Things changed one day when he took me out for lunch to an expensive sushi restaurant. He asked me what I wanted to do after college and I told him I wanted to write. His eyes lit up! He had an idea for a show that he wanted me to write. An associate of his was a big deal in his eyes and we were to write a show about this man's life. It would also be about racism. It would also be about all the great things David did for children. His DOG would be in it! His DOORMAN would be in it! We could even use some of his skatedance kids! OH MY GOSH IT WOULD BE THE BEST SHOW EVER! His business partner was a VP at ABC so we'd get it on the air no problem. In all seriousness I should have questioned things a little more but it was my internship and I was getting credit for it. He was implying I would have to come only one day a week and as a senior in college, I knew I could better spend that time sleeping and getting wasted.

I drafted a fictional pilot about how Danilo, the star of the show, met Kayo...a white rapper that David was convinced was the next big thing. Skipping ahead some...David continually asked me to setup meetings with Danilo and Kayo. Danilo was preoccupied due to a sick family member and was impossible to reach, Kayo would not show up unless Danilo told him to.

Kayo did show up one time though. That meeting and the rest of the story coming very soon.

OMG!!!111 A CLIFFHANGER! HOW EXCITING!

Gil (June 20)

2008-06-22T11:08:00.003-04:00

Speaking of breaking toys; our friend Gil moved to Voorhees from Illinois maybe around 4th grade. The infinitely clever fourth graders in his class endlessly mocked his apparent opening statements upon arrival; "My name is Gil McMahon, I come from Illinois. Are we allowed to bring pop to school?"

Seriously, that was the "joke".

Well Gil moved away sometime around 8th or 9th grade and had a yard sale. Jack and I decided to go buy as many of his toys as possible. We left with a few huge bags of tanks and GI Joes and other random stuff including a kite spool and string. We went to my backyard and situated a brick on the ground and brought some up to the top of the deck. Then would tie an action figure to the string and lower him down to the brick on the bottom before dropping the other brick on top sending pieces flying everywhere. By the end of the day we had broken most of gils toys and the pieces were scattered everywhere.

We had to go pick everything up so the dogs wouldn't eat the pieces. That sucked.

Drew H. (June 19)

2008-06-21T18:51:00.005-04:00

Ah, I'm sorry, things have been crazy but somebody called me out so I'm writing Thursday's entry now. I'm trying to decide if I should backdate or just accept when I miss days. Oh well, Here's some catching up. These are going to be short entries that I save for situations just like these.

Drew was a kid I was friends with probably in about 1st and 2nd grade. I remember seeing comic books at his house before I had any. I remember Drew specifically because one of the times he came over we made the biggest mess my room had ever had. Every toy I owned was on the floor and remember literally having to wade through the mess. My mom was horrified. I learned my lesson when I stepped on and broke my Bebop action figure.

Who? Bebop is the warthog henchman from Ninja Turtles! His partner Rocksteady also died eventually but that's because of my habit of whipping action figures off of my deck and into trees in the backyard.

Chris Freeman

2008-06-18T16:55:00.002-04:00

Here it is, my first mention of my fraternity! My active years were extremely colorful and they had a lot of ups and downs. There were those that were more interested in getting work done than establishing a lasting friendship. There were people who were just interested in being seated in positions of power. There were plenty of people there for the wrong reasons.

Chris Freeman is the guy who rushed me and convinced me to pledge. There are many people who could not have done that as I was kind of disillusioned about fraternities (see entry: Joe Mess). However, Freeman seemed like a standup great guy right from the start and I was sold.

Throughout the years, he exemplified my feelings on brotherhood; you're here to be friends, to accept, to understand. Not to judge, force people to do things, and crucify them for mistakes. Chris stayed out of the upper tiers of the political structure but he was always one of the people I respected most and one of my best friends. People went to him for advice anyway. I found that at the end of my senior year, even without a position on the board, newer members came to me the same way I'd gone to Freeman and I was more proud of that than having any position I could have held.

Now that I've graduated, I maintain those friendships even from a distance and I think my theory on brotherhood has been proven. The politics, the status, the business; none of that matters after you graduate, it's just about the bonds you formed while you were there and Freeman is still one of my best friends.

Harpinder (for Tuesday)

2008-06-18T11:09:00.002-04:00

Harpinder was a giant. He only went to Signal Hill Elementary school with me in first grade. He didn't know much English and was a great unifier for all the other kids on the playground.

Of the two activities I remember from 1st grade recess. One was called "Run Away From Harpinder." It basically consisted of everyone running around screaming and trying not to let Harpinder "GET" them. The only activity that could take precedence over this game was called "Rocks."

Rocks involved two piles of rocks on opposite sides of a field. The boys had one pile, the much bigger one; and the girls had another sequestered between some pine trees. I'm not sure how this game worked without being inappropriately violent...maybe it was. Boys would get across and steal rocks and bring them back to our massive pile while only two girls that I can remember were fast and brave enough to steal from the boys.

I would love to make a metaphor about life from the rocks game or running away from Harpinder...like, we're all just trying to add to our pile...or something. I don't know, that was fun.

Joe Tropia

2008-06-16T21:00:00.003-04:00

Joe was the person that gave me my first real accomplishment in college. Yes, it was just a one act play, but for the first time it was MY show. I wasn't an extra or a minor part, what I did made the show along with my partner. Joe was convinced I was the one for the part and he became one of my best friends in that time as well. As I mentioned days ago when talking about Kristin, I wasn't exactly trying to make friends with people who resembled those I would have disliked in high school and though I would change my opinions later, as a freshman I was looking for my place and Joe helped me.

The show was Dr. Fritz and I was dying of food poisoning throughout the 13 minute piece. This is no small feat considering I was groaning and clutching my stomach the whole time. I would end up with stomach aches afterwards which is a shame when you have to start drinking to celebrate. I believe I was ok though.

Joe was there for me the following year when I became really upset over a girl who, in hindsight, was not worth a second thought. He even cancelled rehearsal for the show we were doing together so I could vent.

Joe was the first person in college I really looked up to. When he graduated, I was sad and I didn't even really stick to theater after that but he helped me through some amazingly difficult things. When I think about my growth throughout college, Joe was one of the key people who helped me start to figure out who I really am and thought I don't see him very often anymore, he will always be a great friend for that.

My Dad

2008-06-15T20:51:00.000-04:00

There is no chance I can talk about my father with any kind of depth in a blog entry, but it's father's day so now is as good a time as I'm going to have all year to write a little bit about him.

When I was in second grade my dad spent maybe three dollars and inadvertently changed my life. That's right, he bought me my first X-Men comic. Uncanny X-Men #300. Up until then I'd only seen the cartoon and had a Where's Waldoesque X-Men object hunt book. I'd venture to say that a good 25% of the knowledge in my head has stemmed from my love of comic books since that day. Nerdy? Oh totally, but I read somewhere that there are more written pages about X-Men than any other thing in human history so it must be somewhat important...off topic but I thought that was interesting.

My parents got divorced the summer before I started 4th grade. When I was in middle school, I pretty much went crazy. I hated school and I didn't like Linda who he had recently moved in with. I developed a "You're not my mom" type complex and must have blamed my dad because I hated him for a long time. For almost two years I barely saw his side of my family and refused to see and talk to him. I also pretty much refused to go to school in seventh grade which I'm sure I'll touch on again sometime.

Our relationship has been more than fixed since then of course. Without going into too much detail, my dad has always been there for me. He's a lawyer and he's gotten me out of my speeding tickets and helped one of my best friends when he got arrested with a small amount of weed on him. I know that whenever I'm in need of help in any way, my dad will do anything he can. My brother and I have always been his top priority.

I've learned more than just some random lesson from my dad. I'm an analyzer; I think about the people I'm close to a lot and from the time I've spent with him, I've learned who I am. Our paths in life are nowhere near the same, but sometimes I think that from our beginnings, we're just the same person who's made a lot of different decisions.

When it comes to parents, I'm one of the luckiest people in the world and while this is bordering on extremely sappy, it's Father's Day and I have a little buzz going so there it is.

Joe Mess (for Saturday)

2008-06-15T13:47:00.000-04:00

Well, I missed a day already but I'm backdating this one. I have a feeling it will happen a lot on weekends. My post for later should be interesting and important so for now I'm just going to knock out a really ridiculous one. I believe this kid's nickname was Joe Mess for what should soon become obvious reasons. If I am confusing him with another idiot names Joe, then I apologize to you both for not finding you interesting enough to be able to tell you apart.

Before I joined my fraternity I rushed a couple of others and had an array of ridiculous and awful experiences. It was good for me to see what fraternities should NOT be about and understand why most people I meet would have a negative opinion of them.

At lunch one day I was sitting with several brothers of AXP and their rushes. Joe thought he was the most amazing thing ever. He was ugly and really dumb and wanted to share a story with us that was to "not leave this table". The story was quick. He had decided it would be funny to shove his roommates toothbrush up his ass and put it back without telling him. He then watched him brush his teeth. ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS!?

I mean, that's brotherhood right there. Real true, fraternal love.

I have always attempted to battle the stereotype that morons like him cause. I learned that to make a good impression, one must fight a hundred times harder than to make a bad one.

Chris Caniglia

2008-06-13T14:18:00.001-04:00

I've only been living in New York for about 4 1/2 months. It's been an incredible experience. One of the best parts for me have been my improv classes at the PIT. I have met some incredibly talented people and there's nothing better than to be complimented by those you look up to (the ones who don't turn out to be child molesters that is).

Chris is a long time PIT mainstay on the house team Big Black Car and a myriad of other projects. He was my level two improv instructor. Now I could talk forever about how much I love improv and how great the class was but nothing compared to the last class.

We did a group exercise where everybody said something they liked about the person whose turn it was. I was near the end of the line and I have a hard time taking compliments because I'm my own biggest critic, but I was really curious as to what Chris was going to say to me. I was actually nervous to accept compliments. Since I was the youngest (by a lot) in the class, a lot of the people said something about me being like a little brother to them which was nice.

Chris told me that when he met me his first thought was, "This kid is one of us," and that I was really talented and he couldn't wait to see me grow more as a performer.

HOLY SHIT! I was floored. 'Nuff said.

I learned from Chris that I can do this. Also, to remember to invite people to your shows or you won't have an audience :)

Jonathan (Jack) Ingram

2008-06-11T11:25:00.000-04:00

Looking at my list of people to write about, I realize that this blog will chronicle most of the important milestones in my life. Is it best to introduce the important characters early on or do I just bounce around and give them spotlights as I feel necessaary? Damn my urge to have coherent story structure.

Yesterday, I got a strange phone call from Citibank Student Loans saying Jonathan Ingram's mail had been bouncing back to them and they called me because I was listed as a personal reference. Jack was my best friend from seventh grade and through all of high school. He is currently working teaching english in Japan.

Jack and I used to joke that we became friends the day after my Bar Mitzvah. He wasn't there but he was definitely one of my best friends starting that year and with my "becoming a man" in December, it must have been very soon after.

My oldest memory with Jack is 7th grade lunch. We sat at a table with two clearly divided groups of people. There was us and a few others who would have been branded huge nerds and a group of self fancied popular kids. Looking back it's hard to say who was actually popular but Jack and I took great joy in using our intelligence to upset these people. One in particular; Dusty Landers. Yes, that was his real name and I thought about writing this entry about him but really it would be a waste because it was when Jack and I first bonded. Dusty was really fond of using the word "fag" when referring to us. He managed to fit it into some sentences multiple times. Jack and I would pick vocabulary words and string them together in sentences when talking to or about Dusty. ("Why Dusty, you're acumen is farcical.") He would look at us clearly trying not to have his brain explode and come back with a retort. (Oh yeah, well you guys are fags!") Frequently, we said things that didn't even make sense, but he didn't know that. As seventh graders we found this funny every time. Oddly enough, I was never beaten up for this behavior and it probably started to cultivate my smug attitude that I could get away with anything because I was smarter than a lot of people. In all fairness, I got into very little trouble and pulled a lot of crap over the years, so it was a lessen well learned.

Of course I have a million stories about Jack, but this was the beginning of my longest standing friendship to date.

From Jack I learned that quality was more important in friends than quantity.

Eric

2008-06-10T15:44:00.000-04:00

I thought for a long while on who to start out with. Should I use one of my parents? An ex-girlfriend? One of my closest friends who I love to death? I decided not to use any of them because they deserve a little more time for me to think about what I should say about them. This person doesn't deserve to be thought of. I could write pages about this man and what he did but I'm going to be as brief as possible.

Eric was the supervisor of the Jewish Youth Group I was in during my freshman and sophomore years of high school. He came off as a really nice guy to parents and when I first met I looked up to him like a father figure. My older cousin Adam was a member of the group and I tended to hang out with the older kids until they graduated at the end of that year. Without their "protection" I became a target for some reason. Now I was an awkward kid but I didn't deserve the treatment this man gave me. He made me feel bad for small stupid things; ripping pages out of a magazine at health club, staining a kid's shirt with a tomato...during a food fight that nobody else got yelled at for. He even made me feel bad for wanting it to be known that I had cleaned up after a massive bonfire while others were sleeping and I was awake. Instead of laying in a sleeping bag I had been productive and when I told people he sarcastically asked everyone to praise me.

Eric had an event at his house. My cousin Brett was also a member and his mother joked that it was strange he would have young boys over his house. Eric overheard me talking about this and flew into a rage.

I went away to a national conference for this youth group and while there I was informed he had closed registration for the chapter for my junior year and I would not be allowed back into the chapter. I was devastated. There were a myriad of other things that happened between me and Eric and he destroyed what little self-esteem I might have had at the time.

Freshman year of college I was driving with my friend Jamie. We had gotten lost coming back from the Palisades mall and ended up driving over the Tappan Zee Bridge and eventually into Manhattan. Jamie hated the city and was going nuts...we were missing Friends! This could not stand! I got a phone call from my aunt. She wanted to inform me that Eric had been arrested for child molestation. Two kids I had been active with had come forward about his abuse. For the first time I was glad Eric had hated me. Eric was in jail last I heard.

Eric taught me that the people we look up to can be just as flawed if not moreso than we are.