Dan Baum

Pledgebrother #2
Dan lived in the same apartment/house with me for 2 years and was literally my partner in crime. Luckily, I was never with him for any of his arrests.

Dan had the stigma of being the fraternity pothead, although in all fairness, it was mostly because he always seemed to be stoned even when he wasn't. I was actually a much bigger offender and he took the blame for plenty of my endeavors. Even his nickname "Danks" was because he supposedly always had weed. There was a period of time when you could have attached a pull string to him like a kid's toy because only four phrases ever seemed to come out of his mouth; all in his impression of Peter Griffin...

"Oh my god!"
"You think that's bad..."
"You're breakin' my balls!"
"Wanna go to Birch?" (the buffet style cafeteria at our college)
If he wasn't eating at Birch, it was McDonalds and I honestly don't know how he survived college with his diet, but then he wasn't unique in that sense.

Once we lived in the house, he had a habit of making entire pots of pasta or mac and cheese that we would devour at 3am. There was really nothing healthy about it, it's no wonder I lost 20 pounds since I left college...well I guess there's less binge drinking too.

If I could leave you with one image of Dan, it would be the night he was taken to the hospital with alcohol poisoning. The last I saw of him he was running head first into a wall after being confused as to why I was taller than him when we were standing on a hill. We had been playing a drinking game that required gambling how much had to be drank. We sabotaged his hand so he would always have to drink but he chose how much to gamble. Half a bottle of vodka later, he was calling me Dan.

Later, in the hospital, attached to an IV, he tried to go outside to smoke a cigarette and on the phone told his mom he was in his dorm and our roommate Dawson had made everything up about the hospital. Ladies and Gentleman, Dan Baum.