"Franklin"

R.I.P.
The P in this case stands for something other than peace. Maybe "pathetic misery" or "phar away from me".

Ever since I got promoted to the voiceover department over three months ago, my job has been made more difficult by another new assistant who just was not able to do his job effectively. We're going to call him Franklin because there's really no reason to use his real name. If his name were really Franklin, it would ACTUALLY be Frank, but he goes by Franklin. Use your imagination, it's like that.

Franklin was obsessed with protein, sugar and energy drinks. He would down pixie sticks at 9:15am. His eyes bulged out of his head like Ben on Lost, except he wasn't nearly as smart. Franklin had a tattoo on his crotch that said "Ain't it pretty?"

The amount of times and ways that he screwed up were so many that going through them could fill a book. Sometimes with people like this, you feel a little bad for them but this kid was just awful in every way. He seemed to believe he was southern even though he was born in Michigan. Going to school in North Carolina does not make you southern yet he referred to his "lingo" as part of his "Southern gentleman charm". He was anything but charming. He used basically any phrase he overheard ad nauseum. When leaving messages, he would always ask to be given a "shout" back. He would refer to studios as being "time nazis" to clients after hearing somebody say it once. He used the word "regarding" way too often. He modulated his voice in insanely creepy ways, laughed like a hyena and showed off his new tattoo like it was a baby (not the crotch one, that one was featured on facebook though). He stated once that he got it because "hot chicks at the beach love it". Without being entirely accurate, I'm going to give my impression of his message leaving.

"Hi Steven, this is your boy Franklin with 2pm at the office for double A-R-P. You'll be reading in pairs so make sure to jet over here right on time. You can give me a shout back to confirm at extension 238." Everyone came in confused the next day trying to figure out what WRP was. Also, he is not Steven's boy. Also it irked me that he never said the word audition. Also, he didn't say which agent the audition was from...this sounds nitpicky, but it's not and it was all in a voice that screamed "I'm a serial killer!"

Franklin conducted a lot of personal business using his work e-mail. He also had them ALL saved in his deleted mail folder, not completely deleted. His employment ended this week and all of his private emails became public. In reaction upon finding out, he chose to "get back at us" by making nasty comments on facebook before blocking everyone.

I'm just glad he's gone, there is literally only one other person I can think of in my post grade school life that I have disliked as much as him. In the past few days, work has changed so much. I've taken on a lot more responsibility, everybody is more relaxed and my desk has shifted giving me a ridiculous amount of space. All is well.